Apuleius, The Golden Ass Book I

[1] I will weave together for you various stories into this Milesian tale, and I will delight your well-inclined ears with witty whispers, provided that you are willing to peruse this Egyptian papyrus that has been written on with a Nilotic pen. You will be amazed at how the appearance and fortunes of men were changed into different shapes, and how in the course of things they were changed back again. I begin: “Who is this person?” Listen. Hymettus, Athens, Isthmia, Ephyre, Tenaros, and Sparta, being fat and fertile soils (as I pray you give credit to the books of more everlasting fame) are places where my ancient progeny and lineage once flourished. There I say, at Athens, when I was young, I went first to school. Soon after (as a stranger) I arrived at Rome, where by great industry and without instruction of any schoolmaster, I attained the full perfection of the Latin tongue. Behold, I first crave and beg your pardon, lest I should happen to displease or offend any of you by the rude and rustic utterance of this strange and foreign language. And indeed this new alteration of speech corresponds to the matter I intend to treat: I will set forth to you (in Latin) a pleasant Greek story. Whereupon, gentle reader, if you will give attendant ear, it will minister to you such delectable matter that will give you pleasure.

[2] I happened to take a journey into Thessaly, about certain affairs which I had to take care of (for there my ancestry by my mother’s side inhabits, descended of the line of that most excellent person Plutarch, and of Sextus the Philosopher his nephew, which is to us a great honor) and after I, by much travel and great pain, had passed over the high mountains and slippery valleys, and had ridden through the cloggy fallowed fields, I perceived that my horse seemed somewhat tired. So that I likewise might repose and strengthen myself (being weary with riding), I lighted off my horse and, wiping the sweat from every part of his body, I unbridled him, and walked him softly in my hand, so that he might urinate and ease himself of his weariness and travel. And while he went grazing freshly in the field (casting his head sometimes aside, as a token of rejoicing and gladness) I perceived a little before me two companions riding, and so I overtaking them made a third. And while I listened to their conversation, one of them laughed and mocked his fellow, saying, “Leave off, I pray you, and speak no more, for I cannot abide to hear you tell such absurd and incredible lies.” When I heard this, I desired to hear some news, and said, “I pray you masters make me partaker of your talk; I am not so curious as desirous to know all your conversation. So we shall shorten our journey, and easily pass this high hill before us by merry and pleasant talk.”

[3] But he who laughed before at his fellow, said again, “Verily this tale is true, if a man could say that by sorcery and enchantment rivers might be forced to run against their course, the seas to be immovable, the air to lack the blowing of winds, the sun to be restrained from its natural race, the moon to purge its skim upon herbs and trees to serve for sorceries, the stars to be pulled from heaven, the day to be darkened and the dark night to continue still.” Then I, being more desirous to hear this talk than his companion, said, “I pray you, who began to tell your tale even now, do not stop, but tell the rest.” And turning to the other I said, “You perhaps, who are of an obstinate mind and gross ears, mock and condemn those things which are reported for truth. You know that those things are counted as untrue by the depraved opinion of men, which either are rarely seen, seldom heard, or pass the capacity of man’s reason. If these things be more closely examined, you shall not only find them evident and plain, but also very easy to be brought to pass.

[4] “The other night, being at supper with a sort of hungry fellows, while I greedily put a great morsel of meat in my mouth that was fried with the flower of cheese and barley, it cleaved so fast in the passage of my throat and stopped my breath in such a way that I was nearly choked. And yet at Athens in front of the Painted Porch I saw with these eyes a juggler who swallowed up a two-handed sword with a very keen edge, and by and by for a little money which we who looked on gave him, he devoured a chasing spear with the point downward. And after he had conveyed the whole spear within the closure of his body, and brought it out again behind, there appeared on the top of it (which caused us all to marvel) a fair boy, pleasant and nimble, winding and turning himself in such way that you would suppose he had neither bone nor gristle, and verily think that he was a natural serpent, creeping and sliding on the knotted staff which the god of medicine is feigned to bear.” But turning to him who began his tale I said, “I pray you, follow your intention, and I alone will give credit to you, and for your pains will pay your charges at the next inn we come to.”

[5] He answered me: “Certainly, sir, I thank you for your gentle offer, and at your request I will proceed in my tale. But first I will swear to you by the light of this sun that shines here, that those things shall be true. At least, when you come to the next city in Thessaly, you should not doubt anything of that which is rife in the mouths of every person and done before the face of all men. And so that I may first make relation to you, what and who I am, and whither I go, and for what purpose, know that I am from Aegina, traveling these countries from Thessaly to Aetolia, and from Aetolia to Boeotia, to obtain honey, cheese, and other victuals to sell again. And understanding that at Hypata (which is the principal city of all Thessaly) there is accustomed to be sold new cheese of exceeding good taste and relish, I happened one day to go there to make my market there. But as often happens, I came at an evil hour. For one Lupus, a purveyor, had bought and engrossed up all the day before, and so I was deceived.

[6] “Wherefore towards night, being very weary, I went to the baths to refresh myself, and behold, I happened to see my companion Socrates sitting upon the ground, covered with a torn and course mantle. He was so meager and of so sallow and miserable a countenance that I scarcely knew him. For fortune had brought him into such condition and calamity that he verily seemed as a common beggar that stands in the streets to ask for the charity of the passers by. I drew near to him (although he was my singular friend and familiar acquaintance, I did so half in despair) and said, ‘Alas my Socrates, what does this mean? How do you fair? What crime have you committed? Indeed there is great lamentation and weeping for you at home. Your children are in ward by decree of the Provincial Judge. Your wife (having ended her mourning time in a lamentable fashion, with face and visage so full of tears such that she has nearly wept out both her eyes) is constrained by her parents to put out of remembrance the unfortunate loss and lack of you at home, and against her will to take a new husband. And do you live here as a ghost, to our great shame and ignominy?’ Then he answered me and said, ‘O my friend Aristomenes, now I perceive well that you are ignorant of the whirling changes, the unstable forces, and slippery inconstancy of Fortune.’ And thereupon he covered his face (even then blushing for very shame) with his rugged mantle such that from his navel downwards he was all naked. But I, not willing to see him any longer in such great misery and calamity, took him by the hand and lifted him up from the ground.

[7] “He, having his face covered in this way, said, ‘Let Fortune triumph yet more, let her have her sway, and finish that which she has begun.’ At this I took off one of my garments and covered him, and immediately I brought him to the bath, and caused him to be anointed, wiped, and the filthy scurf of his body to be rubbed away. With this done, though I was very weary myself, I led the poor wretch to my inn, where he reposed his body upon a bed, Then I brought him food and drink, and so we talked together. For there we might be merry and laugh at our pleasure, and so we were, until such time as he (fetching a pitiful sigh from the bottom of his heart, and beating his face in miserable sort) began to speak: ‘Alas, poor wretch that I am, that only for the desire to see a game of trial of weapons, I have fallen into these miseries and wretched snares of misfortune. For on my return from Macedon, where I sold all my wares, and played the merchant during the space of ten months, a little before I came to Larissa, I turned off the road to view the situation of the country there, and behold, in the bottom of a deep valley I was suddenly beset by a company of thieves who robbed and spoiled me of everything I had, and would hardly let me escape. But I, being in such extremity, in the end was happily delivered from their hands, and so I happened to come to the house of an old woman who sold wine, called Meroe, who had her tongue sufficiently instructed to flattery. To her I explained the causes of my long peregrination and careful travel, and of my unlucky adventure. And after I had declared to her such things as then presently came to my remembrance, she gently entertained me and made me good cheer; and by and by, being pricked with carnal desire, she brought me to her own bed chamber; I, poor wretch, the very first night of our lying together purchased for myself this miserable condition, and for her lodging I gave to her such apparel as the thieves left to cover me with.’

[8] “Then, I understanding the cause of his miserable condition, said to him, ‘Indeed you deserve to sustain the most extreme misery and calamity which has defiled and maculated your own body: you have forsaken your wife traitorously, and dishonored your children, parents, and friends, for the love of a vile harlot and old strumpet.’ When Socrates heard me rail against Meroe in such sort, he held up his finger to me, and half abashed said, ‘Peace, peace I pray you,’ and, looking about lest anybody should hear, said ‘I pray you, I pray you take heed what you say against so venerable a woman as she is, lest by your intemperate tongue you catch some harm.’ Then with resemblance of admiration I said, ‘Who is this so excellent a person as you name her to be? I pray you tell me.’ Then he answered, ‘Truly she is a witch who has power to rule the heavens, to bring down the sky, to bear up the earth, to turn the waters into hills and the hills into running waters, to lift up the terrestrial spirits into the air, and to pull the gods out of the heavens, to extinguish the planets, and to lighten the deep darkness of hell.’ Then I said to Socrates, ‘Leave off this high and mystical kind of talk, and tell the matter in a more plain and simple fashion.’ Then he answered, ‘Will you hear one or two or more of the deeds that she has done? For she forces not only the inhabitants of the country here, but also the Indians and the Ethiopians and the Anticthones, to love her in most raging fashion. These are but trifles of her occupation, but I pray you give ear, and I will declare greater matters which she has done openly and before the face of all men.

[9] “‘Indeed Aristomenes, to tell you the truth, this woman had a certain lover, whom by the utterance of one word she turned into a beaver, because he loved another woman beside her. And the reason why she transformed him into such a beast is that it is its nature, when he perceives the hunters and hounds to draw after him, to bite off his members, and lay them in the way so that the hounds may stop when they find them. Therefore, so that this might so happen to him (for he fancied another woman), she turned him into that kind of shape.

“‘Seemingly she changed one of her neighbors, being an old man and one that sold wine, into a frog because he was one of her occupation, and therefore she bore him a grudge. And now the poor wretch, swimming in one of his casks of wine and nearly drowned in the dregs, cries and calls with an hoarse voice for his old guests and acquaintance that pass by. Likewise she turned one of the Advocates of the Court (because he pleaded and spoke against her in a rightful cause) into a horned ram, and now the poor ram is become an Advocate. Moreover she caused the wife of a certain lover that she had never to be delivered of her child: according to the computation of all men it is eight years past since the poor woman first began to swell, and now she is increased so big that she seems as though she would bring forth some great elephant.

[10] “‘When this was known abroad and made public throughout all the town, they became indignant against her, and ordained that the next day she should most cruelly be stoned to death. This intention of theirs she prevented by the virtue of her enchantments, and as Medea (who obtained of King Creon but one days respite before her departure) burned the king, his daughter, and his house, so she, by her conjurations and invocations of spirits (which she uses in a certain hole in her house, as she herself declared to me the next day following), locked all the persons in the town in their houses with such violence of power that for the space of two days they could not get forth, nor open their gates nor door, nor break down their walls. Thus they were forced by mutual consent to cry to her and to bind themselves strictly by oaths to the effect that they would never afterwards molest or hurt her. Moreover, if anyone offered her any injury, they would be ready to defend her. Whereupon she, moved by their promises, and stirred by pity, released all the town. But she conveyed the principal author of this ordinance about midnight with all his house, the walls, the ground, and the foundation, into another town, distant from thence a hundred miles, which was situated on the top of a high hill, and for this reason destitute of water. Because the edifices and houses there were built so close together, it was not possible for the house to stand there, and so she threw it down before the gate of the town.’

[11] “Then I spoke and said ‘O my friend Socrates you have declared to me many marvelous things and strange chances, and moreover you have stricken me with no small trouble of mind, indeed with great fear, lest the same old woman using the like practice, should happen to hear all our conversation. Wherefore let us now sleep, and after that we have taken our rest, let us rise early in the morning and ride away here before day as far as we can.’

“In speaking these words, and devising with myself of our departure the next morning, lest Meroe the witch should play by us as she had done by diverse other persons, it happened that Socrates fell asleep, and slept very soundly because of his travail and the large amount of food and wine he had filled himself with. Wherefore I closed and barred the doors of the chamber and put my bed behind the door, and so laid myself down to rest. But I could in no way sleep because of the great fear which was in my heart until it was about midnight, and then I began to slumber. But alas, behold, suddenly the chamber doors were broken open, and locks, bolts, and posts fell down, so that you would verily have thought that some thieves had presently come to spoil and rob us. And the bed I was lying on, being a truckle bed and fashioned in form of a cradle, and having one of its feet broken and rotten, by violence was turned upside down. And I likewise was overturned and covered by it.

[12] “Then I perceived in myself that certain affects of the mind by nature cause strange reactions. For as tears oftentimes trickle down the cheeks of him who sees or hears some joyful news, so I, being in this fearful perplexity, could not forbear laughing, to see how I was made like a snail in his shell. And while I lay on the ground covered in this way, I peeped under the bed to see what would happen. And behold, there entered two old women, one bearing a burning torch, and the other a sponge and a naked sword. And so in this way they stood about Socrates who was fast asleep. Then she who bore the sword said to the other, ‘Behold, sister Panthia, this is my dear and sweet heart, who both day and night has abused my wanton youthfulness. This is he, who little regarding my love, not only defames me with reproachful words, but also intends to run away. And I shall be forsaken by a trick similar to the one Ulysses used, and shall continually bewail my abandoned state like Calypso.’ This said, she pointed towards me who lay under the bed, and showed me to Panthia. ‘This is he,’ she said, ‘who is his counselor and persuades him to forsake me, and now, being at the point of death, he lies prostrate on the ground covered with his bed, and has seen all our doings, and hopes to escape scot-free from my hands. But I will make him repent too late, nay rather immediately, of his former intemperate language and his present curiosity.’

[13] “When I heard these words I fell into a cold sweat, and my heart trembled with fear, so much so that the bed over me likewise rattled and shook. Then Panthia said to Meroe, ‘Sister, let us by and by tear him in pieces or tie him by the members and cut them off.’ Then Meroe (being so named because she was an innkeeper and loved well good wines) answered, ‘Nay rather let him live, and bury the corpse of this poor wretch in some hole of the earth;’ Thereupon she turned the head of Socrates to one side and thrust her sword up to the hilt into the left part of his neck, and received the blood that gushed out in a pot, so that no drop fell on the floor. These things I saw with my own eyes, and, since I thought that she might change nothing that pertained to the sacrifices which she accustomed to make, she thrust her hand down into the entrails of his body, and, searching about, at length brought forth the heart of my miserable companion Socrates. He, having his throat cut in this way, yielded out a doleful cry and gave up the ghost. Then Panthia stopped up the wide wound of his throat with the sponge and said, ‘O sponge, sprung and made in the sea, beware that you not pass by running river.’ This being said, one of them moved and turned up my bed, and then they strode over me, and clapped their buttocks upon my face, and all pissed on me until I was wringing wet.

[14] “When this was over they went their ways, and the doors closed fast, the posts stood in their old places, and the locks and bolts were shut again. But I, who lay upon the ground like one without soul, naked and cold, and wringing wet with piss, like one who was more than half dead, revived myself. Since I thought I was headed for the gallows, I began to say ‘Alas, what shall become of me tomorrow, when my companion shall be found murdered here in the chamber? To whom shall I seem to tell any similitude of truth, even though I shall tell the truth indeed? They will say, “If you were unable to resist the violence of the women, you should at least have cried for help; would you suffer the man to be slain before your face and say nothing? Or why did they not slay you likewise? Why did they spare you who stood by and saw them commit that horrible deed? Wherefore, although you have escaped their hands, you shall not escape ours.”’ While I pondered these things with myself the night passed on, and so I resolved to take my horse before day, and go forward on my journey.

“However, the ways were unknown to me, and thereupon I took up my packet, unlocked and unbarred the doors. But those good and faithful doors, which in the night had opened of their own accord, could then scarcely be opened with their keys.

[15] “And when I got out I cried, ‘Doorman! Where are you? Open the stable door, for I want to ride away now.’ The doorman, lying behind the stable door upon a pallet and half asleep, said, ‘What, do you not know that the roads are very dangerous? Why do you rise at this time of night? If you, perhaps guilty of some heinous crime, are weary of your life, at least don’t think that we are such sots that we will die for you.’ Then I said, ‘It is nearly day, and moreover, what can thieves take from him who has nothing? Do you not know (fool as you are) that, if you be naked, if ten giants should assail you, they could not spoil or rob you?’ Whereupon the drowsy doorman, half asleep and turning on his other side, answered, ‘What do I know whether you have murdered your companion whom you brought in yesternight or no, and now seek the means to escape away?’ O Lord, at that time I remember the earth seemed ready to open, and I thought I saw at hell gate the dog Cerberus ready to devour me. And then I truly believed that Meroe did not spare my throat because she was moved by pity, but rather she cruelly pardoned me to bring me to the gallows.

[16] “Wherefore I returned to my chamber, and there devised with myself in what way I could finish my life. But when I saw that fortune could offer to me no other instrument than that which my bed proffered me, I said, ‘O bed, O bed, most dear to me at present, who have suffered with me so many miseries, judge and arbiter of such things as were done here this night, whom alone I may call to witness for my innocence, render (I say) to me some wholesome weapon to end my life, I who am most willing to die.’ And thereupon I pulled out a piece of the rope with which the bed was corded, and tied one end of it to a rafter by the window, and on the other end I made a sliding knot. I stood upon my bed and put my neck in the rope, and leaped from the bed, thinking to strangle myself and so die. But behold, the rope, being old and rotten, burst in the middle, and I fell down upon Socrates who lay underneath.

[17] “And at that same very moment the doorman came in, crying with a loud voice, and said, ‘Where are you who made such haste at midnight, and now lies wallowing in bed?’ Whereupon (I don’t know whether it was by my fall or by the great cry of the stable boy) Socrates, as though waking out of sleep, rose up and said, ‘It is not without cause that strangers speak evil of all such doormen, for this sneak, in his coming in, and with his crying out (I think with the intention to steal away something), has waked me out of a sound sleep.’ Then I rose up, joyful with a merry countenance, saying, ‘Behold, good doorman, my friend, my companion and my brother, whom you falsely affirmed to have been slain by me this night.’ And thereupon I embraced my friend Socrates and kissed him. But he, smelling the stink of the piss those hags had drenched me with, thrust me away and said, ‘Cleanse yourself of this filthy odor.’ And then he began gently to enquire how that noisome scent happened to get on me. But I, finely feigning and coloring the matter for the time, broke off his talk, and took him by the hand and said, ‘Why do we delay? Why should we lose the pleasure of this fair morning? Let us go.’ And so I took up my packet, and paid the charges of the house and departed.

[18] “And we had not gone a mile out of the town when it became broad day, and then I diligently looked upon Socrates’ throat, to see if I could see the place where Meroe thrust in her sword. But when I could not perceive any such thing, I thought to myself, ‘What a mad man I am, who, being overcome with wine last night, dreamed such terrible things? Behold I see Socrates is sound, safe and in health. Where is his wound? Where is the sponge? Where is his great and new cut?’ And then I spoke to him and said, ‘Truly it is not without occasion that physicians of experience do affirm that those who fill themselves abundantly with food and drink shall dream of dire and horrible sights. For I myself, not tempering my appetite last night from the pots of wine, seemed to see strange and cruel visions, that even yet I think myself sprinkled and wet with human blood.’ Whereupon Socrates, laughing, made answer and said, ‘Nay, you are not wet with the blood of men, but are wet with stinking piss. Indeed I dreamed that my throat was cut, and that I felt the pain of the wound, and that my heart was pulled out of my belly. Remembering this makes me now afraid, for my knees so tremble that I can scarce go any further. Therefore I would like eat something to strengthen and revive my spirits.’ Then I said, ‘Behold, here your breakfast.’ And thereupon I opened my bag that hung upon my shoulder, and gave him bread and cheese, and we sat down under a great plane tree, and I ate with him.

[19] “And while I watched him eating greedily, I perceived that he grew meager and pale, and that his lively color faded away, so that, being in great fear and remembering those terrible furies of whom I lately dreamed, the first morsel of bread that I put in my mouth (which was very small) so stuck in my jaws that I could neither swallow it down, nor yet yield it up. Moreover, the small time of our being together increased my fear. And why would he, who saw his companion die on the highway before his face, not greatly lament and be sorry? But when Socrates had eaten sufficiently, he grew very thirsty, for indeed he had nearly devoured a whole cheese. And behold, evil fortune! There was behind the plane tree a pleasant running water, as clear as crystal, and I said to him, ‘Come here, Socrates, to this water and drink your fill.’ And then he rose and came to the river, and kneeled down on the side of the bank to drink. But he had scarce touched the water with lips when behold, the wound in his throat opened wide, and the sponge suddenly fell out into the water, and after it issued out a little remnant of blood, and his body, being then without life, would have fallen into the river, had not I caught him by the leg and so pulled him up. And after I had lamented for some time the death of my wretched companion, I buried him in the sands there by the river. With this done, in great fear I rode through many outways and deserted places, and because I was culpable for the death of Socrates, I forsook my country, my wife, and my children, and came to Aetolia where I married another wife.”

[20] This tale Aristomenes told, and his fellow, who before obstinately would give no credit to him, began to say, “Truly there was never so foolish a tale, nor a more absurd lie told than this.” And then he spoke to me saying, “Ho sir, who you are I know not, but your habit and countenance declare that you are some honest gentleman. Do you believe this tale?” “Yea verily,” said I, “why not? For whatever the fates have appointed to men I believe shall happen. For may things chance to me and to you, and to diverse others, which when they are declared to the ignorant are accounted as lies. But verily I give credit to his tale, and render entire thanks to him, since by the pleasant telling of the story we have quickly passed and shortened our journey. And I think my horse was also delighted with it too, and has brought me to the gate of this city without any pain at all.”

[21] Thus ended both our talk and our journey, for those two turned to the left to the next villages, and I rode into the city. After those two companions departed, I entered the city where I spotted an old woman, whom I asked whether the city was called Hypata or not. She answered, “Yes.” Then I demanded whether she knew one Milo, an Alderman of the city. At this she laughed and said: “Verily it is not without cause that Milo is called an Alderman, and accounted as chief of those which dwell without the walls of the city.” To her I said again, “I pray you, good mother, do not jest but tell me what manner of man he is, and where he dwells.” “Indeed,” she said, “do you see these bay windows which on one side abut to the gates of the city, and on the other side to the next lane? There Milo dwells, very rich both in money and substance, but by reason of his great avarice and insatiable covetousness, he is evil spoken of, and he is a man who lives entirely by usury and lending his money upon pledges. Moreover he dwells in a small house and is always counting his money, and he has a wife who is a companion of his extreme misery. Nor does he keep more than only one maid in his house, who goes appareled like a beggar.”

[22] When I heard this, I laughed to myself and thought, “Indeed my friend Demeas has served me well. He has sent me, being a stranger, to such a man in whose house I shall not be afraid either of smoke or of the scent of meat.” And thereupon I rode to the door, which was fast barred, and knocked aloud. Then there came forth a maid who said, “Ho sir who knocks so fast, in what way do you want to borrow money? Don’t you know that we are accustomed to take no surety, unless it is either plate or jewels?” To her I answered, “I pray you, maid, speak more gently and tell me whether your master be within or not?” “Yes,” said she, “he is: why do you ask?” “Indeed,” I said, “I am from Corinth, and have brought him letters from Demeas his friend.” Then the maid said, “I pray you wait here till I tell him.” And thereupon she closed fast the door, and went in, and after a while she returned again and said, “My master desires you to alight and come in.” And so I did, and I found him sitting on a little bed going to supper, and his wife sat at his feet, but there was no food on the table. And so by appointment of the maid I came to him and saluted him, and delivered the letters that I had brought from Demeas. When he had read them he said, “Verily, I thank my friend Demeas much since he has sent me so worthy a guest as you.”

[23] And thereupon he commanded his wife to move aside and bid me sit in her place. When I refused this by reason of courtesy, he pulled me by my garment and willed me to sit down. “For we have,” he said, “no other stool here, nor no other great store of household stuff, for fear of robbery.” Then I, according to his command, sat down, and he fell in further conversation with me and said, “Verily I do conjecture by the handsome features of your body and by the maidenly modesty of your face, that you are a gentleman, as my friend Demeas has no less declared in his letters. Wherefore I pray you take in good part our poor lodging, and behold yonder chamber is at your command. Use it as your own, and if you are contented with it, you shall resemble and follow the virtuous qualities of your good father Theseus, who did not disdain the slender and poor cottage of Hecale.” And then he called his maid (who was named Fotis), and said, “Carry this gentleman’s packet into the chamber, and store safely, and bring water quickly to wash him, and a towel to rub him, and other things necessary, and then bring him to the baths, for I know that he is very weary of travel.”

[24] When I heard these things, I partly perceived the manners of Milo and, endeavoring to bring myself further into his favor, I said, “Sir there is no need of any of these things, for they have been everywhere ministered to me on the way. However, I will go into the baths, but my main care is that my horse is well looked after, for he brought me here stoutly, and therefore I pray you, Fotis, take this money and buy some hay and oats for him.” When this was done, and all my things brought into the chamber, I walked towards the baths. But first I went to the market to buy some victuals for my supper. There I saw great plenty of fish set out to be sold. And so I bargained with the vendors, and that which they at first held at an hundred pence, I bought at length for twenty. When I had done this, and was departing away, one of my old acquaintances and fellows from Athens named Pythias happened to pass by and, watching me for some time, in the end remembered me, and gently came up and kissed me, saying, “O my dear friend Lucius, it has been a long time since we two saw one another, and moreover, from the time that we departed from our master Clytius, I never heard any news from you. I pray you, Lucius, tell me the cause of your journey here.” Then I answered and said, “I will tell you about this tomorrow. But I pray you tell me, what is the meaning of these servants that follow you, and these rods or verges which they bear, and this habit which you wear like to a magistrate? Verily I think you have obtained your own desire, for which I am glad.” Then answered Pythias, “I bear the office of the clerk of the market, and therefore, if you have any pittance for your supper, speak and I will obtain it for you.” Then I thanked him heartily and said I had bought sufficient food already. But Pythias, when he saw my basket containing my fish, took it and shook it, and demanded of me what I had paid. “Indeed,” said I, “I could scarce force the fishmonger to sell them for twenty pence.”

[25] When he heard this, he brought me back again into the market, and asked me whom I bought the fish from. I showed him the old man who sat in a corner. This man, by and by, by reason of his office, he greatly blamed, and said, “Is it thus you serve and handle strangers, and especially our friends? Why sell you this fish so dear, which is not worth a halfpenny? Now I perceive well that you are trying to make this place, which is the principal city of all Thessaly, to be forsaken of all men, and to reduce it into an uninhabitable desert, by reason of your excessive prices of victuals. But assure yourself that you shall not escape without punishment, and you shall know what my office is, and how I ought to punish those who offend.” Then he took my basket and cast the fish on the ground, and commanded one of his sergeants to tread them under his feet. This done he persuaded me to depart, and said that the shame and reproach done to the old sneak sufficed him. So I went away amazed and astonished towards the baths, considering with myself the grace of my companion Pythias. When I had well washed and refreshed my body, I returned again to Milo’s house, both without money and food, and so went into my chamber.

[26] Then Fotis came immediately to me and said that her master desired me to come to supper. But I, not ignorant of Milo’s parsimony, prayed that I might be excused since I thought it best to ease my wearied bones rather with sleep and rest, than with food. When Fotis had told this to Milo, he came himself and took me by the hand, and while I modestly excused myself, said “I will not depart from this place until such time as you shall go with me.” And to confirm the this, he bound his words with an oath. And so he made me follow him and brought me into his chamber, where he sat down on the bed, and asked me how his friend Demeas was, his wife, his children, and all his family. And I answered every question. He especially enquired the causes of my peregrination and travel which, when I had told him, he yet busily demanded of the state of my country, and the chief magistrates there, and principally of our Lieutenant and Viceroy. When he perceived that I was not only wearied by travel, but also with talk, and that I fell asleep in the midst of my tale, and further that I spoke nothing directly or advisedly, he suffered me to depart to my chamber. So escaped I at length from the prating and hungry supper of this rank old man and, being compelled by sleep and not by food, and having supped only with talk, I returned into my chamber and there betook myself to quiet and long desired rest.