Apuleius, The Golden Ass Book IX

[1] In this manner the traitorous cook prepared to slay me. When he was ready with his knives to do the deed, I thought to myself how I might escape the present peril and I did not long delay. Quickly I broke the halter with which I was tied and, flinging my heels hither and thither to save myself, at length I ran hastily into a parlor where the master of the house was feasting with the priests of the Syrian goddess. I disturbed the whole company, throwing down their food and drink from the table. The master of the house, dismayed at my great disorder, commanded one of his servants to take me and lock me in some strong place so that I might not disturb them any more. But I cared little for my imprisonment, thinking that I was happily saved from the hands of the traitorous cook. However, fortune, or the fatal disposition of the divine providence which can be avoided neither by wise counsel nor by any wholesome remedy, invented a new torment for me.

[2] By and by a young lad came running into the parlor all trembling, and declared to the master of the house that there was a mad dog running about in the streets. This dog had done much harm, for he had bitten many greyhounds and horses in the inn nearby, and he spared neither man nor beast. Myrtilus the muleteer, Hephaestio the cook, Hypnophilus the chamberlain, and Apollonius the physician, thinking they could chase away the mad dog, were cruelly wounded by him, and so many horses and other beasts, infected with the venom of his poisonous teeth, became mad likewise. This caused all who were at the table greatly to fear. Thinking that I too had been bitten, they came out with spears, clubs, and pitchforks in order to slay me. I would have undoubtedly been slain, had I not by and by crept into the chamber where my master intended to lodge all night. Then they closed and locked fast the doors about me and kept the chamber surrounded until such time as they thought that the pestilent rage of madness had killed me.

[3] While I was thus shut in the chamber alone, I lay down upon the bed to sleep, considering it was long time past since I lay and took my rest as humans do. When morning came, I was well reposed and rose up lustily. In the meantime, they who were appointed to watch about the chamber all night reasoned with themselves as follows: “Should we think,” said one, “that this rude ass is still possessed by madness?” “Nay,” said another, “for the outrageous poison of madness has killed him.” But, being thus of differing opinions as to a poor ass, they looked through a crack in the door and espied me standing still, sober and quiet, in the middle of the chamber. Then they opened the doors and came towards me in order to determine whether I was gentle or no. Amongst them there was one who, in my opinion, was sent from heaven to save my life. He ordered the other to set a basin of fresh water before me, and thereby they would know whether I were mad or not. If I drank without fear as I accustomed to do, it was a sign that I was whole and in possession of my ass-like wits. But if I avoided and abhorred the taste of the water, it was evident proof of my madness. This, he said, he had read in ancient and credible books.

[4] Whereupon they took a basin of clear water and presented it to me. As soon as I perceived the wholesome water, I ran up quickly, thrusting my head into the basin, and drank as though I had been extremely thirsty. Then they stroked me with their hands and bowed mine ears and took me by the halter, to prove my patience. But I, taking each thing in good part, disproved their mad presumption by my meek and gentle behavior. When I was thus saved from this double danger, the next day I was loaded again with the Syrian goddess and other equipment, and was brought into the road with trumpets and cymbals. We went to beg in the villages which we passed by according to our custom. And after we had gone through a few towns and castles, we happened to come to a certain village, which was built (as the inhabitants there affirm) upon the foundation of a famous ancient city. And after we had turned into the next inn, we heard of a pretty story committed in the town there, which I would have you know likewise.

[5] There was a man dwelling in the town, very poor, that had nothing but that which he got by the labor and travail of his hands. His wife was a fair young woman, but very lascivious, and given to the appetite and desire of the flesh. It happened on a day that while this poor man was gone in the morning to the field about his business, as he was accustomed to do, his wife’s lover secretly came into his house to have his pleasure with her. And so it chanced that during the time that she and he were basking together, her husband, suspecting no such matter, returned home. He praised the chaste continence of his wife, in that he found his doors locked. Wherefore, as was his custom, he whistled to declare his approach. Then his crafty wife, ready with shifts, caught her lover up and covered him under a great tub standing in a corner. Thereupon she opened the door, blaming her husband in this way: “Do you come home everyday with empty hands, and bring nothing to maintain our house? You have no regard for our profit, nor do you provide any food or drink, whereas I, poor wretch, do nothing day and night but occupy myself with spinning. Yet my travail will scarce buy the candles we need. O how much more happy is my neighbor Daphne, who eats and drinks at her pleasure and passes the time with her amorous lovers according to her desire.”

[6] “What is the matter?” said her husband, “Though our master has been called into court, don’t think that I have made no provision for our supper. Do you not see this tub that takes up space here in our house and does us no service? Behold, I have sold it to a good fellow (that is here present) for six denars. Wherefore lend me a hand so that I may give him the tub. His wife (having devised what to do) laughed at her husband, saying: “What merchant, I pray you, have you brought home to fetch away my tub for six denars? I, poor woman, who sits all day alone in my house, have been offered seven.” Her husband, being well-disposed to her words, demanded who had bought the tub. “Look,” she said, “he is underneath it to see where it is sound or not.”

[7] Then her lover (who was under the tub) began to stir, and so his words might agree with the words of the woman, he said: “Dame, to tell you the truth, this tub is rotten and cracked, it seems to me, on every side.” And then, turning to her husband, said: “I pray you, honest man, light a candle so that I may clean the inside of the tub and see if it useful or not. For I do not intend to cast away my money blindly.” By and by the husband (as dumb as an ox) lit a candle, saying, “I pray you, good brother, don’t put yourself to so much trouble. Let me clean the tub and ready it for you. Whereupon he took off his coat and crept under the tub to rub away the filth from the insides. In the meantime this minion lover cast his wife on the bottom of the tub and had his pleasure with her right above his head. While she was thus occupied she managed to point out to her husband all the parts of the tub that needed cleaning. When everyone had finished their business, the lover gave seven denars for the tub, and caused the good man himself to carry it on his back to his inn.

[8] We stayed there a few days at the cost of the whole village, and had gotten much money by our divination and prognostication of things to come. The priests of the Syrian goddess invented a new way to pick men’s pockets. They had certain lots on which it was written:

“The yoked oxen plow the fields so that in the future the blessed seed may grow.”

By these kind of lots they deceive many of the simple sort. For if someone demanded whether he should take a good wife or not, they would say that his lot testified that he should, namely that he should be yoked to a good woman and have increase of children. If someone demanded whether he should buy lands and possession, they said that he would have much ground that would yield his increase. If someone demanded whether he would have a good and prosperous voyage, they said he would have good success and would increase his profit. If someone demanded whether he would be able to vanquish his enemies and prevail in pursuit of thieves, they said that this enemy would be tied and yoked to him and his pursuits after thieves would be prosperous. Thus, by telling fortunes, they gathered a great quantity of money.

[9] But when they were weary of giving answers, they drove me away next night through a lane which was more dangerous and stony than the way which we went the night before. On the one side there were quagmires and foggy marshes, on the other side were falling trenches and ditches. Thus my legs failed me, such that I could scarcely come to the level paths. And behold, by and by a great company of inhabitants of the town, armed with weapons and on horseback, overtook us and immediately arrested Philebus and his priests. They tied them by the necks and beat them cruelly, calling them thieves and robbers. After they had manacled their hands the said: “Show us the cup of gold which (under the guise of your solemn religion) you have taken away. Do you now think you can escape in the night without punishment for your deed?”

[10] By and by one of them came towards me and, thrusting his hand into the bosom of the goddess, brought out the cup which the priests had stolen. However, even though they were caught red-handed, they would not be confounded nor abashed. But, jesting and laughing about the matter, they said: “Is it right, masters, that you should thus rigorously interrogate and threaten us for a small trifling cup, which the mother of the goddess determined to give to her sister for a present?” However, for all their lies and complaints, they were carried back to the town and put in prison by the inhabitants who, taking the cup of gold and the goddess which I bore, placed and consecrated them amongst the treasure of the temple. The next day I was conveyed to the market to be sold, and my price was set at seven sesterces more then Philebus had given for me. There a baker from the next village happened to pass by who, after that he had bought a great deal of grain, bought me likewise to carry it home. When he had loaded me with the grain, be drove me through a thorny and dangerous way to his bakery.

[11] There I saw a great company of horses who went to the mill, day and night, to grind the grain. But lest I should be discouraged at the first, my master entertained me well. For the first day I did nothing but fare daintily. However, such ease and felicity did not long endure, for the next day I was tied to the mill with my face covered so that, in going round so often in one direction, I should not become giddy and keep a straight course. Although when I was a man I had seen many such horse mills and knew well enough how they worked, yet feigning my to be ignorant of such kind of toil, I stood still and would not go. I thought I would be taken from the mill as a useless ass and put to some other light work, or else to be driven into the fields to pasture. But my subtlety did me little good, for by and by when the mill stood still, the servants came in shouting and beat me forward, in such sort that I applied myself vigorously to the work at hand.

[12] Whereupon all the company laughed to see so sudden a change. When a good part of the day had past, and when I was not able to endure any longer, they took off my harness and tied me to the manger. But although my bones were weary and I needed to refresh myself with rest and provender, yet I was so curious that I did greatly delight to behold the baker’s art, so much so that I could not eat nor drink while I looked on.

O good Lord, what a sort of poor slaves were there! Some had their skin black and blue, some had their backs striped with lashes, some were covered with rugged sacks, some had their members just barely hidden. Some wore such ragged clothing that you might perceive all their naked bodies. Some were marked and burned in the heads with hot irons, some had their hair half-clipped, some had locks on their legs. Some were very ugly and evil-favored, and they could scarcely see because their eyes and face were so black and dim with smoke. They looked like those that fight in the sands and do not know where they strike because of the dust. And some had their faces all covered with flour.

[13] But how could I describe the horses who were my companions? How they, being old and weak, thrust their heads into the manger? They had their necks all wounded and worn away, they opened their nostrils with a continual cough, their sides were bare because of the harness and great travail, their ribs were broken with beating, their hooves were battered broad with incessant labor, and their skin was rugged because of their weakness. When I saw this dreadful sight, I began to fear least I should arrive in a similar state. And considering with the good fortune which I was in when I was a man, I greatly lamented, holding down my head, and would eat no food. I saw no comfort or consolation in my evil fortune except that my mind was somewhat restored to hear and understand what every man said, for they neither feared nor hesitated in my presence. At that time I remembered how Homer, the divine author of ancient poetry, described the a wise man, who had traveled through different countries and nations. Wherefore I gave great thanks to my ass-form since I could see and experience many things, and became more wise (notwithstanding the great misery and labor which I daily sustained):

[14] But I will tell you a pretty story that comes now to my memory, so that your ears may be delighted in hearing it. The baker who had bought me was an honest and sober man. But his wife was the most pestilent woman in all the world such that he endured many miseries and afflictions because of her. I myself came secretly to pity his situation and bewail his evil fortune. For she had not just a single fault, but all the mischief that could be devised. She was crabbed, cruel, lascivious, drunken, obstinate, greedy, covetous, riotous in filthy expenses, and an enemy to faith and chastity. She despised all the gods whom others honored, but she affirmed that she believed in a single god. Thus she deceived all men, and especially her poor husband. She had abandoned her body with continual whoredom.

[15] This mischievous queen hated me in such a way that she commanded everyday, before she was up, that I should he put into the mill to grind. The first thing she would do in the morning was to see me cruelly beaten, and to order that I should grind while the other beasts fed and took rest. When I saw that I was so cruelly handled, she gave me occasion to learn her conversation and life, for I saw oftentimes a young man who would secretly go into her chamber. His face I greatly desired to see but I could not because my eyes were covered everyday. And verily, if I had been free and at liberty, I would have discovered all her abomination. She had an old woman, a bawd, a messenger of mischief, that daily haunted to her house, and made good cheer with her to the utter undoing and impoverishment of her husband. But I, who was greatly offended by the negligence of Fotis (who made me an ass instead of a bird), took comfort in this alone: in the miserable deformity of my shape, I had long ears, whereby I might hear all things that were done.

[16] One day I heard the old bawd say to the baker’s wife: “Dame, you have chosen (without my counsel) a young man as your lover who, as it seems to me, is dull, fearful, without any grace, and cowers before the frowning look of your odious husband. Whereby you have no delight nor pleasure with him. How mush better is the young man Philesitherus! He is comely, beautiful, in the flower of his youth, generous, courteous, valiant and stout against the diligent prying of your husband. His is worthy to embrace the worthiest dames of this country, and worthy to wear a crown of gold, for one part he did to a man who was jealous over his wife. Hearken how it was and then judge the difference between these two lovers:

[17] “Do you not know of one Barbarus, a Senator of our town, whom the vulgar people call likewise Scorpion for his severity of manners? This Barbarus had a gentlewoman for his wife whom he caused daily to be locked up in his house under diligent guard.” Then the baker’s wife said, “I know her very well, for we two lived together in one house.” “Then you know,” said the old woman, “the whole tale of Philesitherus?” “No verily,” said the wife, “but I greatly desire to know it. Therefore I pray you, mother, tell me the whole story.” By and by the old woman, who knew well how to babble, began to tell the story as follows.

“You shall understand that one day this Barbarus preparing to ride abroad and, wanting to safeguard the chastity of his wife (whom he so well loved), called his man Myrmex (whose loyalty he had tried and proved in many things) and secretly committed to him the custody of his wife. Barbarus told him that he should threaten, if any man tried to touch her with his finger as he passed by, not only to put him in prison and bind him hand and foot, but also to cause him to be put to death, or else to be starved for lack of sustenance. These words he confirmed by an oath to all the gods in heaven. Then he departed. When Barbarus had gone, Myrmex, being greatly astonished by his master’s threats, would not allow his mistress to go abroad but, as she sat all day spinning, he was careful to sat near her. When night came he went with her to the baths, holding her by the garment. So faithful was he to fulfill the commands of his master.

[18] “However, the beauty of this matron could not be hidden from the burning eyes of Philesitherus. He, considering her great chastity and how she was diligently kept by Myrmex, thought it impossible to obtain his purpose. Nevertheless he tried by all kind of means to fulfill his desire and, remembering the fragility of man (who might be enticed and corrupted with money) he remembered that by gold even adamant gates may be opened. One day, when he found Myrmex alone, he revealed his love and asked him to show his favor. He said that otherwise he would certainly die. He assured him that he need not to fear since he might be let in and out secretly at night, without knowledge of any person. When he perceived that, with these and other gentle words, he was alluring and pricking forward the obstinate mind of Myrmex, he showed him glittering gold, saying that he would give his mistress twenty gold pieces and him ten.

[19] “But Myrmex, hearing these words, was greatly troubled. He abhorred in his mind to commit such a mischief. Wherefore he covered his ears and, turning his head, departed. However, he could never put the sight of the glittering coins out of his mind but, when he was at home, he seemed to see the money before his eyes and he thought it worth taking. Wherefore poor Myrmex was of diverse opinions and could not tell what to do. For on the one side he considered the promise which he made to his master, and the punishment that would ensue if he did contrary. On the other side he thought of the gain and the passing pleasure of gold. In the end the desire for the money prevailed over the fear of death. The beauty of the glittering gold so stuck in his mind that, where the menaces of his master compelled him to stay at home, the pestilent avarice of gold egged him outdoors. Wherefore, putting all shame aside, without further delay, he declared the whole matter to his mistress. She, according to the nature of a woman, when she heard him speak of so great a sum, she bound chastity in a string, and gave authority to Myrmex to rule her in that case. Myrmex, seeing the intent of his mistress, was very glad and, because of his great desire for the gold, he ran hastily to Philesitherus and declared that his mistress had consented. Wherefore he demanded the gold which he been promised. Immediately Philesitherus gave him ten gold pieces.

[20] When night came, Myrmex brought him disguised into his mistress’ chamber. About midnight, when he and she were naked together and making sacrifice to the goddess Venus, behold, her husband (contrary to their expectation) came and knocked at the door, calling with a loud voice to his servant Myrmex. Myrmex’ long delay increased the suspicion of his master such that he threatened to beat Myrmex cruelly. But he, greatly afraid and driven to desperate measure, excused the matter, saying that he could not find the key because it was so dark. In the meantime Philesitherus, hearing the noise at the door, slipped on his coat and quietly ran out of the chamber. When Myrmex had opened the door to his master (who had threatened him terribly) and had let him in, he went into the chamber to his wife. Meanwhile Myrmex let out Philesitherus and barred the doors fast. Then he went again to bed.

[21] “The next morning when Barbarus awaked, he perceived two unknown slippers lying under his bed, which Philesitherus had forgotten when he went away. Then he conceived a great suspicion and jealousy in mind. However, he did not reveal it to his wife or to any other person. But he, putting the slippers secretly into his bosom, commanded his other servants to bind Myrmex immediately and to bring him to court. He thought that by the means of the slippers he might get him to admit the whole matter. It happened that while Barbarus went towards the magistrate in a fury and rage and Myrmex, bound fast, followed him weeping (not because he was accused before his master, but because of his own guilty conscience) behold, it happened that Philesitherus (going about earnest business) met with them in the street. He, fearing the deed he committed the night before and not wanting it to be known, suddenly devised a means to get Myrmex off the hook. He ran up to him and beat him about the head with his fists, saying: “Ah mischievous varlet and perjured knave! It is a good deed if the goddess and your master here would put you to death! For you should be imprisoned and wear these irons since you stole my slippers when you were at the baths last night. Barbarus, hearing this, immediately returned home and commanded his servant Myrmex to deliver the slippers again to the right owner.”

[22] The old woman had scarcely finished her tale when the baker’s wife said: “Verily she is blessed and most blessed who enjoys the fruits of so worthy a lover. But as for me, poor wretch, I have fallen into the hands of a coward who is not only afraid of my husband but also of every clap of the mill. He doesn’t dare to do anything in front of the blind face of yonder scabbed ass.” Then the old woman answered, “I promise you certainly that if you want him, you shall have this young man at your pleasure.” Thereupon, when night came, she departed from her chamber. In the meantime, the baker’s wife made ready a supper with abundance of wine and exquisite fare. Thus there lacked nothing except the arrival of the young man. Her husband was having dinner at one of their neighbor’s houses. When the time came that my harness was to be taken off and that I should rest, I felt joy because, when the veil was taken from my eyes, I would be able see all the abomination of this mischievous queen. When night had come and the sun had gone down, behold, the old bawd and the young man, who seemed to be but a child (he had no beard), came to the door. Then the baker’s wife kissed him a thousand times and received him courteously and set him down at the table:

[23] But he had scarcely eaten the first morsel when the good man (contrary to his wife’s expectation) returned home. She thought he would not have come so soon. But Lord how she cursed him, praying God that he might break his neck upon his first entry. In the meantime, she took her lover and thrust him into the bin where she stored her flour and, dissembling the matter, came to her husband demanding why he came home so soon. He said, “I could not abide to see the great mischief and wicked fact that my neighbor’s wife committed, but I had to leave. O, harlot as she is, how she has dishonored her husband! I swear by the goddess Ceres that if I had not seen it with my own eyes, I would never I have believed it.” His wife, desirous to know the matter, asked him to tell what she had done. Then he accorded to the request of his wife and, ignorant of matters in his own house, declared the mischance of another.

[24] “You shall understand,” he said, “that the wife of the fuller, my companion, who seemed to me a wise and chaste woman regarding her own honesty and profit of her house, was found this night with her lover. For while we went to wash our hands, he and she were together. They, being troubled with our presence, ran into a corner. She thrust him into a cage made with twigs which was used to lay clothes on to make them white with the smoke of fume and brimstone. Then she sat down with us at the table to conceal the matter. In the meantime the young man, hidden in the cage, could not keep from sneezing due to the smoke of the brimstone.

[25] The good man, thinking it had been his wife that sneezed, cried, “Bless you.” But when the young man sneezed more, the fuller suspected the matter and, wanting to know who it was, rose from the table, and went to the cage. There he found a young man, nearly dead with smoke. When he understood the whole matter, he was so inflamed with anger that he called for a sword to kill him. Undoubtedly he would have killed him, if I had not restrained his violent hands from his purpose. I assured him that his enemy would die by the force of his brimstone and without the harm he would do. However, my words would not appease his fury, but as necessity required he took the young man, nearly choked, and carried him outside. In the meantime, I advised his wife to absent herself to one of her neighbor’s houses until the anger of her husband was pacified. I said this lest he should be moved against her as he was against the young man. And so, being weary of their supper, I immediately returned home.”

[26] When the baker had told his tale, his impudent wife began to curse and abhor the wife of the fuller, as well as all other wives in general who give away their bodies to any man except their own husbands, breaking the faith and bond of marriage. Then she said they deserved to be burned alive. But knowing her own guilty conscience and proper whoredom, and lest her lover should be hurt lying in the bin, she asked her husband to go to bed. But he, having eaten nothing, said that he wanted to dine before he went to rest. Whereupon she was compelled to set such things on the table as she had prepared for her lover. But I, considering the great mischief of this wicked queen, devised how I might reveal the matter to my master. I thought I would kick away the cover of the bin (where, like a snail, the young-man was hidden) to make her whoredome apparent and known.

[27] At length I was aided by the providence of God, for there was an old man to whom the custody of us was committed. He drove me, poor ass, and the other horses at the same time to water to drink. Then I found a good opportunity to revenge the injury of my master. For as I passed by, I perceived the fingers of the young man on the side of the bin. Lifting up my heels, I scraped off the flesh with the force of my hoofs, whereby he was compelled to cry out, and to throw the bin to the ground. Thus the whoredom of the baker’s wife was known and revealed. The baker, seeing this, was not a little moved at the dishonesty of his wife. But he took the young man, trembling with fear, by the hand and with cold and courteous words spoke in this way: “Fear not, my son, nor think that I am so barbarous or cruel a person that I would stifle you with the smoke of sulfur as our neighbor did. I will not punish you according to the rigor of the Julian law, which commands that adulterers should be put to death. No, no. I will not execute my cruelty against so fair and comely a young man as you are. We will divide our pleasure between us by lying, all three of us, in one bed. Thus there will be no dissention between us, and both of us may be contented. For I have always lived with my wife in such tranquility that, according to the saying of wise men, whatsoever I say she must obey, and indeed equity will not suffer, but that the husband should bear more authority then the wife.”

[28] With these and like words he led the young man to his chamber, and closed his wife in another chamber. That night he enjoyed the young man and thus took revenge on his wife. The next morning he called two of the sturdiest servants of his house who held up the young man, while he scourged his buttocks deservedly with rods, like a child. When he had well beaten him, he said: “Are you not ashamed, you tender and delicate child, to desire the violation of honest marriages, and to defame yourself with wicked living, and so to acquire the name of adulterer?” After he had spoken these and like words, he whipped him again and chased him out of his house. The young man, who was the comeliest of all the adulterers, ran away and did nothing else that night except bewail his striped and painted buttocks. Soon after the baker sent to his wife and divorced her.

[29] She was offended by this great humiliation, even though she had worthily deserved it. But she, in addition to her natural mischief, had recourse to wicked arts and trumpery, and never ceased until she had found out an enchantress who (as it was thought) could do whatever she wanted with her sorcery and conjuration. The baker’s wife began to entreat her, promising that she would pay her handsomely if she could bring one of two things to pass: either to make her husband be reconciled with her again, or else, if he should not agree to this, to send an evil spirit into him and to dispossess the spirit of her husband. Then the witch, with her abominable science, began to conjure and to perform her rites in order to turn the heart of the baker to his wife. But all was in vain. Wherefore, considering on the one hand that she could not bring her purpose to pass, and on the other the loss of her fee, she ran hastily to the baker and threatened to send an evil spirit to kill him, using her conjurations.

[30] But I suppose some scrupulous reader may ask me how I, being an ass and always tied up in the mill house, could know the secrets of these women. Verily I answer, notwithstanding my shape of an ass, I had the sense and knowledge of a man, and curiously endeavored to find out such injuries as were done to my master. About noon there came a woman into the mill house, very sorrowful, raggedly attired, with bare feet, meager, ill-favored, with her hair scattered upon her face. This woman took the baker by the hand and, feigning that she had some secret matter to tell him, went into a chamber. There they remained a good space, until all the grain was ground. Then as the servants were compelled to call their master to give them more grain, but when they had called very often, and no person gave answer, they began to suspect something was amiss. Therefore they broke open the door. When they came in, they could not find the woman, but found only their master hanging dead from a rafter of the chamber. Whereupon they cried and lamented greatly and, according to the custom, when they had washed themselves, they took the body and buried it.

[31] The next day, the daughter of the baker, who had married a little before to a man from the next village, came crying and beating her breast. She did so not because she heard of the death of her father from any man, but because his lamentable spirit, with a halter around his neck, had appeared to her in the night and declared the whole circumstance of his death. He told her how, by enchantment, he had descended into hell. After she had lamented a good space and was somewhat comforted by the servants of the house, and when nine days had passed, she, as heir to her father, sold away all the substance of the house. Thus the goods happened to go to various different men. There was a poor gardener amongst them, and he bought me for the sum of fifty sesterces, which seemed to him a great price, but he thought to recoup the amount through the continual labor of my body.

[32] The matter requires to tell how I was handled in his service. This gardener was accustomed to drive me every morning, loaded with herbs, to the next village. When he had sold his herbs, he would mount upon my back and return to the garden. While he dug the ground and watered the herbs, and went about other business, I did nothing but repose myself with great ease. But when winter came with sharp hail, rain and frosts, I stood under a hedge side and was nearly killed with cold. My master was so poor that he had no lodging for himself, much less anything to cover me with. He himself always lay under a little roof shadowed with boughs. In the morning when I arose, I found my hooves shriveled with cold and unable to tread upon the sharp ice and frosty mire. Neither could I fill my belly with food as I was accustomed to do, for my master and I ate together, and had both one fare. However, it was very slender since we had nothing else except old and unsavory greens which had gone to seed, like long brooms, and had lost all their sweet sap and juice.

[33] It happened one day that an honest man of the next village was forced by the rain to lodge (very tired and weary).in our garden where, although he was but meanly received, yet it served well enough considering time and necessity. This honest man, to pay us back for our entertainment, promised to give my master some grain, oil, and two bottles of wine. Wherefore my master, not delaying the matter, loaded me with sacks and bottles and rode to the town which was seven miles off. When we came to the honest man’s house, he entertained and feasted my master exceedingly. And it happened while they ate and drank together in honor of their great friendship there chanced something strange and dreadful. For there was a hen which ran cackling about the yard, as though she were about to lay an egg. The good man of the house, perceiving her, said: “O good and profitable pullet, who feeds us every day with your eggs, you seem as though you would give us some pittance for our dinner. Ho boy! Put the pannier in the corner so that the hen may lay.” Then the boy did as his master commanded, but the hen, forsaking the pannier, came toward her master and laid at his feet not an egg, as normal, but a chicken with feathers, claws, and eyes, which immediately ran peeping after its mother.

[34] By and by happened an even stranger thing which would cause any man to be afraid. Under the table where they sat the ground opened, and there appeared a great well and fountain of blood. The drops of blood then sprinkled about the table. At the same time, while they wondered at this dreadful sight, one of the servants came running out of the cellar and said that all the wine had boiled out of the vessels as though there had been some great fire underneath. By and by a weasel was seen that brought into the house a dead serpent. Then, out of the mouth of a shepherd’s dog leaped a live frog, and immediately after that someone brought word that a ram had decapitated the same dog with one bite. All these things that happened astonished the good man of the house and the rest of those who were present. So much so that they could not tell what to do or with what sacrifice to appease the anger of the gods.

[35] While every man was thus stricken with fear, behold, someone brought word to the good man of the house that his three sons, who had been well-educated and endowed with good manners, were dead. For these three had great acquaintance and old friendship with a poor man who was their neighbor and who lived very close by. And next to him lived another young man. very rich both in lands and goods, but one who used his good family name for ill. He did whatever he wanted to in the town accompanied by his gang. This young man mortally hated the poor man, so much so that he would kill his sheep, steal his oxen, and spoil his grain and other fruits before the time of ripeness. Yet was he not contented with this, but he would encroach upon the poor man’s ground and claim all the property as his own. The poor man, who was very simple and fearful, seeing all his goods taken away by the avarice of the rich man, called together and assembled many of his friends to show them all his land. He did this so that he might have enough ground from his father’s legacy to be buried in. Amongst his friends he found these three brothers who pledged to help and aid him in his adversity and tribulation.

[36] However, the presence of these honest citizens could in no wise persuade the greedy youth to stop his extortion, nor yet to cause any moderation of his tongue. But the more they went about with gentle words to tell him his injustices, the more would he fret and likewise fume, swearing all the oaths under God, that he little regarded the presence of the whole city. Whereupon he commanded his servants to take the poor man by the ears and carry him out of his ground, which greatly offended all the bystanders. Then one of the brothers spoke to him somewhat boldly, saying: “It is folly to have such confidence in your riches that you should use your tyranny against the poor. The law is common for all men, and a remedy may be had to suppress your insolence.” These words chafed him more than the burning oil or flaming brimstone or scourge of whips, and so he said that they should be hanged and their law too before he would be subject to any person. Thereupon he called out his bulldogs and great mastiffs which were accustomed to eat the carrion and carcasses of dead beasts in the fields, and to set upon those who passed by. Then he commanded that they should attack the crowd and tear them to pieces. As soon as they heard the hiss of their master, the dogs ran fiercely upon the gathering and attacked them on every side. And indeed, the more they fled, the more cruel and terrible the dogs became.

[37] It happened amongst all this that in running, the youngest of the three brothers stumbled on a stone and fell to the ground: Then the dogs came upon him and tore him to pieces with their teeth and he was compelled to cry for aid. His other two brothers, hearing his lamentable voice, ran towards him to help him. They cast their cloaks around their left arms and took up stones to chase away the dogs. But it was all was in vain and they saw their brother dismembered in every part of his body. He, lying at the very point of death, desired his brothers to revenge his death against that cruel tyrant, and thereupon gave up the ghost. The other two brothers, perceiving so great a murder and neglecting their own lives, like desperate persons dressed themselves against the tyrant, and threw a great number of stones at him. But the bloody thief, experienced in such mischief, took a spear and thrust it clean through the body of one of the brothers. However, he did not fall to the ground, for the spear came out at his back and stuck in the ground, thus propping him up. By and by one of the tyrant’s servants, the sturdiest of the rest, came to help his master. He, when he arrived on the scene, took up a stone and threw at the third brother, but the stone grazed his arm and did not hurt him. This happened otherwise than anyone thought.

[38] By and by the young man, feigning that his arm was greatly wounded, spoke these words to the cruel blood sucker: “Now you may, wretch, triumph in the destruction of all our family. Now you have fed your insatiable cruelty with the blood of three brothers. Now you may rejoice at the fall of us citizens. Yet do not think that you extend the bounds of your land: you shall have some neighbor still. But how greatly am I sorry that I have lost mine arm whereby I intended to cut off your head.” When he had spoken these words, the furious thief drew out his dagger and, running upon the young man, intended to slay him. But it chanced otherwise. For the young man resisted him stoutly and, in wrestling violently with him, wrested the dagger out of his hand. This done, he killed the rich thief with his own weapon. And in order for the young man to escape the hands of the servants, who came running to assist their master, with the same dagger he cut his own throat. These things were signified by the strange and dreadful portents which occurred in the house of the good man. He, after he had heard these sorrowful tidings, could not even weep, so far was he stricken with grief. But presently, taking the knife with which he was cutting his cheese and other foods, he cut his own throat likewise, such that he fell upon the board and embraced the table with the streams of his blood in most miserable manner.

[39] Thus my master the gardener was deprived of his hope and, paying for his dinner with the watery tears of his eyes, he mounted upon my back and so we went homeward the same way as we came. As we passed by the way we met with a tall soldier (for so his bearing and countenance declared) who with proud and arrogant words asked my master where he was taking me. My master, somewhat astonished at the strange sights which had just seen, and ignorant of the Latin tongue, rode on and said nothing. The soldier, unable to restrain his insolence and offended at my master’s silence, struck him on the shoulders as he sat on my back. Then my master gently answered that he did not understand what he said. At this the soldier angrily demanded again where he was riding with his ass? “Indeed,” said the gardener, “to the next city.” “But I,” said the soldier, “have need of your ass, to carry the trusses of our captain from yonder castle.” Thereupon he took me by the halter and would violently have taken me away. But my master, wiping away the blood of the blow which he received from the soldier, asked him gently and civilly to take pity upon him and to let him depart with his possessions. He swore and affirmed that his slow ass, nearly dead with sickness, could scarce carry a few handfuls of herbs to the next town, much less any greater burdens.

[40] But when he saw that the soldier would not be persuaded, but was ready with his staff to cleave my master’s head, my master fell down at his feet, ostensibly to move him to some pity. But when he saw the opportunity, he took the soldier by the legs and cast him upon the ground. Then he buffeted him, thumped him, bit him, and took a stone and beat his face and his sides, such that he could not turn and defend himself. The soldier could only threaten that if ever he rose, he would chop him in pieces. The gardener, when he heard him say so, took away the soldier’s spear, and when he had thrown it away, he knocked and beat him more cruelly then he did before. Thus the soldier had no way to save himself except by feigning that he was dead. Then my master took the javelin and mounted upon my back, riding in all haste to the next village. He did not desire to go to his garden and, when he to the village, he went to one of his friend’s houses and declared all the whole matter. He asked his friend to save his life and to hide him and his ass in some secret place until such time as all danger was past. Then his friend, not forgetting the ancient amity between them, entertained him willingly and led us upstairs into a chamber. There my master crept into a chest and lay there with the cover closed fast.

[41] The soldier (as I afterwards learned) rose up as one awoken from a drunken sleep. But he could scarcely walk because of his wounds. However, at length and through the aid of his staff he came to the town. But he would not declare the matter to any person nor complain to any magistrate, lest he should be accused of cowardice. Yet in the end he told some of his companions what happened. Then they took him and hid him in some secret place, thinking that, beside the injury he had received, he would be accused of the breach of his faith since he had lost his spear. And when they had gotten a description of my master, they went to search him out. At last there was an unfaithful neighbor who told them where he was. Then the soldiers went to the magistrate declaring that they had lost on the road a silver goblet of their captain. They said a gardener had found it who, refusing to deliver the goblet, was hidden in one of his friend’s houses. By and by the magistrate, understanding the loss of the captain, came to the door of house where we were hidden and commanded our host to deliver my master on pain of death. However, these threats did not force him to confess that the gardener was within his house. But on account of his promise to safeguard of his friend, he said that he had not seen the gardener in a great while and did not know where he was. The soldiers said contrary. Thus, in order to know the truth of the matter, the magistrate commanded his sergeants and ministers to search every corner of the house. But they could find neither gardener nor ass.

[42] Then there was a great argument between the soldiers and our host. For they said we were within the house and he said no. But I that was very curious to see what was going on. When I heard the disturbance I put my head out of the window to learn what was happening. It happened that one of the soldiers perceived my shadow, whereupon he began to shout that he had certainly seen me. Then they were all glad and came up into the chamber, and pulled me down like a prisoner. When they had found me, they searched more diligently and at length they found the gardener hidden in the chest. And so they brought the poor gardener before the magistrates. He was committed immediately to prison, but they could never stop laughing from the time they found me by my shadow. Wherefore has arisen the common proverb “the shadow of the ass.”